“Friendships”

This might come off more as a rant and if certain people see it, they will most definitely get offended and know it’s about them. But here goes…

I feel like I’m good enough to watch your kids when you need a break or have to do something without them, drive them to school functions and sporting events, I’m good enough to feed them, discipline them, let them sleep over because our kids are friends. But I’m not good enough to be invited places with your friends, unless it’s a last minute invite because you “forgot”.

You forgot what exactly? That we are “friends”?!!? Oh, you’re keeping it “low key”, really??? You had over 20 people in your house, that didn’t look “low key” to me. Only your “close friends” were there… then what the actual fuck am I?!

I get it, I left my really good paying job to be at home with my baby so now I’m not good enough to be in your world? Not that I was before but the invites have definitely gotten smaller since I had my toddler.

And I’m not sure I want to even start with this one…. but since we had our miscarriages what happened to our close friends that we had??! Like, we definitely had some from our hometown, it’s down to about 1 now. And it all started with losing our babies. As if we needed more stress, we started losing friendships left and right. We didn’t bring it up, we tried to stay light about it (even though we were truly dieing inside) and the few who we confided in shut us out anyway so we stopped talking about it altogether. Still lost friends. It started with missing dinners, “forgetting” we were coming over and not being home, and then we stopped getting invited to things, birthday parties for their kids, summer bbqs, we don’t even do xmas with them anymore.

I know friendships fade as you get older but these are friendships we’ve had for over 20years! Marriages, kids, hardships, all of it.

To all of a sudden, when we needed them the most, they decided they didn’t want to be a part of our lives anymore. And once in a while my husband and I still have the conversation of ‘what did we do wrong to deserve this’? And we talk ourselves to death still trying to figure out what we did to make us lose friendships.

Guess we’ll never know why we lost friendships or why we are never going to be good enough for some people. Life is hard. But I will say I’m thankful for the few that stayed and the new friendships we’ve made recently that we wouldn’t give up for the world. 💙💚